2008 President

From Summa Bergania

Here is my current ranking of 2008 Presidential candidates.

Rank	Name	Party	Reason
1	Mike Rowe	?	Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe has shoveled so much manure that entering politics would be a natural transition.[1]
2	Ladanian Tomlinson	?	Totally dominant in everything he does, and the most humble personality to match it.[2]
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10	Ron Paul	Republican	Wants a much limited government (libertarian), wants to get rid of the IRS, and believes that abortion violates the non-aggression principle. Not sure about Iraq, though. I'm currently undecided on that one. Looks like Dr. Paul carried Lincoln county, Minnesota. It only took 15 votes. I can just imagine how that happened... my friend Matt Havlik crossed the border from Brookings, went to the bar on Tuesday evening, bought a round for everyone, and all 15 of them marched triumphantly across the street, singing some drunken American hymn in unison, to the armory/library/VFW hosting the primary. All 15 are probably brothers and cousins, too. That's my kind of politics. I've driven through Ivanhoe many times, but I never knew how enlightened a town it actually was. It's just over the border... maybe I'll move.
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13	Mike Huckabee	Republican	Former minister and also in favor of limited government (although not as drastic as Ron Paul). Wants to replace income tax with FairTax. Also seems to have a shot at actually getting elected, and is enlisting Stephan Colbert as his running mate.
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31	Stephan Colbert	Democrat and Republican	Increase wrist-injury awareness.
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56	Mitt Romney	Republican	Good values and definitely has a presidential persona. Pretty middle-of-the road on his positions, though. Not the guy to slash bureaucracy to its essential core, but if elected he won't screw the nation up either.
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60	Barack Obama	Democrat	Great leadership attributes, but I'm ultimately not in agreement with most of his positions. Update: in looking at him more closely, I found two very interesting things. First, although he favors government interference in healthcare, his agenda is to create an optional government plan that people can sign on to or keep their private plan... He's not coercing our decision with universal health care. Second, his speech discussing his religion is more thoughtful and deep than I could ever have expected from a politician. It explores some of the most intricate areas of the relationship between church and state, and I could scarcely disagree with his conclusions. Granted, he didn't anchor all his political beliefs to his religion (I wonder, for example, how he justifies stealing more and more money from working people to give it to retirees... but he probably doesn't consider Social Security a particularly moral/religious issue like I do), but he said a good many things about politics and religion (it took almost an hour to read the whole speech), and I have nothing but respect for his words.
61	John McCain	Republican	Pretty middle-of-the-road. Quite middle-of-the-road. And flaky. I could seem him choosing Rudy Giuliani as his running mate after getting Rudy's endorsement in front of the California primary voters.
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74	Fred Thompson	Republican	Closer to Huckabee in his positions, but lately as I have heard him in the debates, I keep wondering if he's actually smart enough to have the job.[3]
75	Michael Moriarty	Realist	Eloquent defender of minarchism (minimal government) and passionately against standard abortions... positions that ring deep within me. However, as I read some of his essays, I started to wonder if he wasn't a conspiracy theorist living in a shed. He has a tendency to rely on queer analogies and the caps lock key, rather than cool reason and solid evidence. [4] [5]
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121	Rudy Giuliani	Republican	We hold only a few positions in common, and I have serious reservations about his values. His personality doesn't wow me, either.
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232	Dennis Kucinich	Democrat	The man sticks to his principles... only problem is that his principles include more coercion from the government to force things to be as he wants it. (also known as tyranny)
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178950	Bill Clinton	Democrat
178960	Benito Mussolini	Fascist	Trains run on time.
178961	Fidel Castro	Communist	Apparently a good health care system... if it weren't for that, he'd be dead and Cuba would be free.
178962	Adolf Hitler	Nazi
178963	Joseph Stalin	Communist
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59067848562	Mephistopheles	Demonic
59067848563	Satan	Pure Evil
59067848564	Hillary Clinton	Democrat

1. ^  Mike isn't actually running for president, yet.
2. ^  LT is doing his campaigning on the football field.
3. ^  Loved his work on Law and Order, though.
4. ^  http://www.mmuuuhp.com/
5. ^  Another Law and Order actor. Dick Wolf apparently picks ambitious characters.