Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

From Summa Bergania

George Lucas is a terrible writer. His idea of a good movie apparently involves only 3 things: stormtroopers, fuzzies, and nauseating attempts at humor. I recognized that I disliked this movie about 10 minutes into it, and spent the next 114 minutes trying to figure out why I hated it so intensely. By the time it was over, I reasoned myself to the point that I actually have always hated Star Wars. It's true. All of them. It never occurred to me before, because I had seen the first three as a kid and waited hours in line for the prequels in college. But now that I saw on the screen exactly the same formula, I couldn't help but hate the idiotic stormtroopers as much as these Soviet stooges, the Ewoks as much as these vine-jumping monkeys, and Luke Skywalker as much as Mutt. Indy 4 even encores the lame "Guess what? I am your long lost father" cliché.

Usually I reserve my special 0-star ranking for immoral abomination "anti-masterpieces," and Indy 4 isn't one of those... no one is going to leave this movie more inclined toward wickedness than they were when they entered. But this is the only movie I've watched that I hated so much that it actually caused me to think back and hate other movies by the time it was done.

And I was literally nauseated.

• David: 0 Stars